LESSON 6 - ACTION

LESSON 6 - ACTION

Principle 3:  Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control

Step 3:  We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

1.  What differences have you noticed in your life now that you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Higher Power?  I have noticed that my trust in God has grown significantly, and I rely on Him much more than I did before.  I have also calmed down ALOT.  I am not wound as tightly as I used to be, and I don't get as worried about things or have such a strong need to control everything.  My marriage is the best it has ever been, which is just a God thing, considering that not even two years ago, I would have sworn we would be divorced by now.  I finally feel the sense of peace in my life that I searched and searched for, but until now wasn't able to obtain.  There's more, but that's a good start :)

2.  How has your definition of willpower changed since you have been in recovery?  I used to believe that willpower was MY power to control myself, to keep myself from doing things I shouldn't, or to do the "right" things that I should.  Now I know that real willpower is the willingness to accept GOD's power over my life.  

3.  What have you been able to turn over to God?  My marriage, my health and my weight, SOME of my finances, my relationships with friends and family, most of the conflict in my life, my need to control other people (most of the time LOL).

4.  What do you fear turning over to His care?  The REST of my finances, my decision making (I still typically make fast decisions, and don't allow enough time for God to tell me what HE thinks I should do), my independence and self will.

5.  What is keeping you from turning them over?  Finances?  Fear.  Money has always been my hot button, because as a kid my parents fought over money constantly.  No, really - constantly.  It was always a topic surrounded by the fear of not having enough, and that instilled in me the belief that my security in life is tied to my finances, plain and simple.  I have a nest egg, it makes me feel safe and it keeps me sane.  If I give up control, and if I were to lose the egg, what happens to me, to my mind?  Will I go crazy?  Will I have to live in my car or in the shed in my dad's back yard?  (That's been a life-long joke between us -- If I ever become homeless, there's always the shed!  Dad would run an extension cord from the house so I could have some lights and watch a TV with rabbit ears).  Giving up complete control of my finances is S-C-A-R-Y!

About my independence and self will -- well, I've taken care of myself most of my life, because my parent's weren't very good at it.  I learned early that if I depended on me, I would be ok.  But relying on other people wasn't nearly as safe.  So I moved out after college and became self sufficient at 19.  I lived in a studio apartment, had a job, paid my own bills, bought my own car, and still managed to eat. I've made my own decisions pretty much forever, priding myself on the fact that I'm logical and realistic and have a good amount of common sense.  I've done well.  But giving all that up and relying 100% on God, presents a scary situation for me.  It suddenly calls into question the qualities I am proud of, and the side of me that others look up to and want to be like - my ability to get things done, make decisions, move forward, and get back up when I fall down.  I'm good at that, I'm a survivor and a fighter, and I keep pressing on.  If I rely completely on God, what do I do with myself?

6.  What does the phrase, "live one day at a time" mean to you?  Living one day at a time is what I do much more now.  It means that I shouldn't spend time worrying about things that haven't happened yet - projecting, my therapist would call it.  It means I don't have to expend valuable energy today worrying about things to come.  One day at a time means that each thing that happens in my life - each hour or each minute of the day - is just that ... a moment in time, nothing more, and it will pass.  So whether it's a good thing or a not-so-good thing, my job is to focus on that moment, and on getting to the next one.  It means that every moment is another opportunity to make a change if I need to, or to show gratitude when I should, or make amends if I screw up.  One day at a time means that I have countless opportunities to create the life God designed for me to have.

7.  What is a major concern in your life?  My only real CONCERN these days is my finances, like always.  Having enough, making the right decisions, spending when I should and restraining myself when I need to.  Eliminating the debt I have as quickly as I can, without digging the hole deeper in the process.  It's a process, and it's slow going, but I'm learning to trust more :)

8.  What is stopping you from turning it over to your Higher Power, Jesus Christ?  Me.