"Happy are the pure in heart." Matthew 5:8
Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." Lamentations 3:40
"Search me, O God, and know my heard; test my thoughts Point out anything you find in me that makes you sad, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24
1. Relationship with others:
- Who has hurt you? (Go as far back as you can.) How did they specifically hurt you?
- Who are you holding a grudge against? (Seeking revenge!)
- Who are you jealous of? (Past and present.) Why?
- Who have you hurt? And how did you hurt them?
- Who have you been critical of or gossiped about? Why?
- How have you attempted to place the blame on someone else? (Be specific)
- What new healthy relationships have you developed since you have been in recovery?
2. Priorities in Life
- What areas of your life have you been able to turn over to your Higher Power, Jesus Christ?
- After acting on Principle 3, in what areas of your life are you still not putting God first? Why not?
- What in your past is keeping you from seeking and following God's will for your life?
- Number the following list in order of our personal preferences.
Career
Family
Church
Christ
Friendships
Money
Ministry
- What are your personal goals for the next ninety days? (Keep it simple!) To spend more time with God and develop a deeper relationship with Him. Continue to work on my health and fitness. GET A NEW JOB! Work on my recovery - knowing myself better and learning what to let go of :)
3. Attitude
- What areas in your life are you thankful for? My family, marriage, friends, church, CR, job, finances, dogs, recovery, my home, the blessings God has brought to my life, my faith, my hope for the future, my health, my fitness journey
- In the past, what things have you been ungrateful over? Unfairness, feeling like I'm the 'only one', my marriage, my jobs, my finances, not getting my way
- What causes you to lose your temper? Unfairness, injustice, not getting my way! Jerks, being made a fool of, people who demonstrate irresponsibility and disrespect
- To whom have you been sarcastic to in the past? (Give examples). Everybody. Sarcasm is my thing. I didn't realize until this program that sarcasm is "bad". I grew up being the tension breaker in my house, and sarcasm and jokes were the way I did that. I thought the ability to be sarcastic and funny made me cool! I'm sarcastic to my husband, my friends, my boss! I wish I could say that I don't intend to be harmful when I'm sarcastic, but that isn't always the case. I am sarcastic when I'm trying to make a point or when I'm being flip towards somebody or something. I find myself now paying better attention to my sarcasm, and looking at its purpose or my intention. It's going to be a long road.
- What in your past are you still worried about? I've dealt with the majority of my past, so I don't worry about much anymore. But I do worry about my relationship with my mom, because I've never been able to forgive her, and I don't want to regret that when she passes. Not doing a better job of showing my family that I love them.
- How has your attitude improved since you have been in recovery? I think my attitude was pretty good before recovery, but I'd say that I have a little more peace, see more hope in things, I look to God for more direction, and I show more gratitude to Him. And I definitely show more grace to others.
4. Integrity
- In the past, how have you exaggerated to make yourself look good? (Give examples). I don't know that I exaggerate to make myself look good ... but I probably have! OH! I have definitely made others look WORSE in an effort to make myself look better when we're at odds -- to get others to side with me :) And I've definitely bragged about my accomplishments, to try to fit in and make myself popular. I have also used material things to make myself look richer, happier, prettier. Furs, cars, jewelry. I tried for a very long time to keep up with the Jones's.
- Does your walk as a Christian match your talk? Are your actions the same at recovery meetings, church, home, and work? I'm pretty transparent these days, and I don't put on airs like I once did - what you see is what you get! - so I'd say yes. Does that mean I'm a perfect Christian? Not a chance! But I'm not selective about my weaknesses - when I cuss, I do it at home or in the church parking lot. When I lose my temper, it doesn't matter where I am. When I sin, I sin. But I continue to try to improve my relationship with God and my walk as a Christian. On another note, I've grown into a person who has a good sense of self, can see my faults without criticizing myself, and who apologizes when she's wrong. I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong, and I try to genuinely learn from my mistakes.
- In what areas of your past have you used false humility to impress someone? I don't even know what that means. I do have a habit of minimizing complements sometimes. As a kid, I was a big people pleaser, which is apparently a form of false humility. And caring what others think is also a form of false humility, and I used to care ALOT about what people thought. Today, I don't. What you think of me is not really any of my business :) God loves me!
- Have any of your past business dealings been dishonest? Have you ever stolen things? Yep. This is where I've had my biggest struggle, and I can see that now. I haven't always been honest about things, especially when it would benefit me not to be. THIS is where I would stretch the truth or exaggerate. And yes, I've stolen things. I'm not proud of that. I'm not sure where I got the idea that I was entitled to do that, but I suspect it came from a childhood of being second all the time. I was actually arrested as a teenager for stealing from a store in Tysons Corner, and had to do community service.
- List the ways you have been able to get out of your denial (distorted/dishonest thinking) into God's truth?
