Tuesday, October 18, 2016
LESSON 24 - YES
1. If you knew that you couldn't fail, what would you like to do most for God in helping others?
Aside from what I already do, I would like to open an animal rescue farm. Animals are my thing :)
2. What are some ways you can pick up the Lord's towel (John 13:14-15) today and start serving others?
I've signed up to help with The Landing! I'm also going to take the Small Group Leader training so that I can start to serve at CR and be an accountability partner/sponsor for others.
3. What does the illustration of the fork in your road to recovery say to you?
It means I have choices about how to best bring the good news (of Jesus AND recovery) to others. Completing our step study isn't the end, the journey continues as we grow deeper in our recovery and work to serve others.
4. In the words of Step 12, how will you "practice these principles in all your affairs?"
It means I need to walk my talk, and demonstrate humility, love, and service towards others.
5. Describe what the phrase "You can't keep it unless you give it away" means in your recovery.
Encouraging others helps me stay strong on my own journey. I need to stay accountable for my own actions, and help others by being an accountability partner or sponsor. I have to share my recovery with others.
6. Create your own action plan for Principle 8.
I am going to explore opportunities to serve in the following areas:
a. The Landing (CR for students 7th - 12th grades)
b. Open share group leader
c. CR leadership
LESSON 23 - GIVE
1. What does Matthew 10:8 - "Freely you have received; freely give" - mean to you?
It means that I didn't do anything to deserve being forgiven and restored to a new life. I was given that gift by God, just because he loves me that much. God sacrificed His son for me, and He gives me everything that I have, because he is full of grace, love, and mercy, and He deserves all the glory. As His child, I am to pass that generosity and love on to others, for no reason other than that I am to be like Jesus.
2. How has your attempt to put God first in your life changed your understanding of the word "give"?
It has made me realize that the important things in life aren't about what I have or how much I have, they're about spending time with the people who matter to me, about sharing myself and serving others, about spending each day seeking a closer relationship with Jesus. Putting God first has made me want to focus more on simplifying my life, freeing up time so that I can devote myself to what's important.
3. Ecclesiastes 4:9 tells us that "two are better than one." List specific instances in your own recovery that you have seen this verse in action.
a. My husband inviting me to the New Hope 1-year CR celebration and opening my eyes to the program.
b. My sponsor always being there to lend an ear and help me through the hard stuff.
c. Kim Feld and the other leaders being available to listen and provide guidance, no matter what the topic!
4. What are some of your recent victories that you could share with a newcomer?
a. Completing this study!
b. Letting go of my control (perceived) over my weight and turning it over to God in 2016, and losing 50# and conquering my obsession with food! It no longer controls me!
c. Letting go of my need to always correct my husband. Most of the time my pointing it out doesn't change the bottom line and just causes resentment between us. I've learned to keep quiet most of the time, and life is much more peaceful.
5. In James 1:22 we are told to be "doers of the Word." How can you be a doer of the Word:
- among family and friends?
By letting my actions match my words, by living out God's principles and demonstrating a heart of love, kindness, acceptance, and forgiveness. Make amends when I hurt someone else. Keep my commitments.
- in your recovery group?
By supporting my CR sisters in their struggles and victories, not passing judgment, and letting God's light shine through me.
- in your church?
By serving others. And everything above.
- on the job?
Trickier, only because of politics. BUT - pretty much everything else I've said, just not so much discussion about religion proper.
- in your community?
Hmmmmmm.
Monday, October 3, 2016
LESSON 22 - GRATITUDE
Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.
Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.
"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly." Colossians 3:16
1. Why do you think it's important for you to maintain an "attitude of gratitude" in your recovery?
Focusing on gratitude for all that we DO have, prevents us from focusing on what we don't have or where we've been, or what we've done. It reminds us that God has forgiven us for our past misgivings, and we owe it to Him to forgive ourselves, focus on the positive, and move forward in our journeys.
2. In what three areas of your recovery are you especially thankful for God's power? Try to think of areas of growth or positive change in you that only God could have accomplished.
a. My marriage - no doubt it's a God thing! Without His power and contribution, there'd not only be no marriage, but I might even be in jail for having been forced to beat him silly :)
b. My food and weight issues. This was my year, and trust me I've tried over and over and over and over. So the only thing different this time was GOD! HE did it. He gets all the glory!
c. Self will. I still have plenty of it, but I'm so humbled by the changes I do see. I lean on God much more than I ever did before. I trust Him, I look to him to show me answers and the right path to take. My relationship with Him is deeper and more intimate than ever before, and for that I am truly grateful.
3. Name three people God has placed in your recovery who you are grateful for and why.
a. Just three? Jeez. OK ... 1) my sponsor. She's honest and to the point, she encourages me and never judges me. She is always available when I need her, and gives me room to breathe when I need it. And she is a glowing role model of a God-fearing woman who gives honor and glory to God in all areas of her life!
b. My BFF, who decided to do this recovery program along side me. She has never ceased to support me, even when I whine and moan. She holds me accountable and helps me to see the other side of a situation and to find gratitude even when I don't believe there is any.
c. This entire step study group - I have been impacted and affected by each and every one of you, and my life is forever changed :)
4. What three areas of your recovery ministry, small groups, or other events are you thankful for? Why?
a. The homework - that's where the hard work and big payoff comes from! Reflection.
b. Acceptance and no judgment.
c. Testimonies. Learning from others and putting things into perspective.
5. List three things that you are thankful for in your church. Be specific.
a. The worship band. Our music is amazing and creates an atmosphere welcoming to the Holy Spirit, and allows God to fill our church with His presence.
b. The welcoming of everybody here! For such a large church, it's amazing that I've never felt like a number.
c. The CR Ministry.
Congratulations! You have just completed your first gratitude list. Review it. How does it make you feel?
Let the individuals on your list know what an impact they have had on your recovery, and thank each of them personally!
Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.
"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly." Colossians 3:16
1. Why do you think it's important for you to maintain an "attitude of gratitude" in your recovery?
Focusing on gratitude for all that we DO have, prevents us from focusing on what we don't have or where we've been, or what we've done. It reminds us that God has forgiven us for our past misgivings, and we owe it to Him to forgive ourselves, focus on the positive, and move forward in our journeys.
2. In what three areas of your recovery are you especially thankful for God's power? Try to think of areas of growth or positive change in you that only God could have accomplished.
a. My marriage - no doubt it's a God thing! Without His power and contribution, there'd not only be no marriage, but I might even be in jail for having been forced to beat him silly :)
b. My food and weight issues. This was my year, and trust me I've tried over and over and over and over. So the only thing different this time was GOD! HE did it. He gets all the glory!
c. Self will. I still have plenty of it, but I'm so humbled by the changes I do see. I lean on God much more than I ever did before. I trust Him, I look to him to show me answers and the right path to take. My relationship with Him is deeper and more intimate than ever before, and for that I am truly grateful.
3. Name three people God has placed in your recovery who you are grateful for and why.
a. Just three? Jeez. OK ... 1) my sponsor. She's honest and to the point, she encourages me and never judges me. She is always available when I need her, and gives me room to breathe when I need it. And she is a glowing role model of a God-fearing woman who gives honor and glory to God in all areas of her life!
b. My BFF, who decided to do this recovery program along side me. She has never ceased to support me, even when I whine and moan. She holds me accountable and helps me to see the other side of a situation and to find gratitude even when I don't believe there is any.
c. This entire step study group - I have been impacted and affected by each and every one of you, and my life is forever changed :)
4. What three areas of your recovery ministry, small groups, or other events are you thankful for? Why?
a. The homework - that's where the hard work and big payoff comes from! Reflection.
b. Acceptance and no judgment.
c. Testimonies. Learning from others and putting things into perspective.
5. List three things that you are thankful for in your church. Be specific.
a. The worship band. Our music is amazing and creates an atmosphere welcoming to the Holy Spirit, and allows God to fill our church with His presence.
b. The welcoming of everybody here! For such a large church, it's amazing that I've never felt like a number.
c. The CR Ministry.
Congratulations! You have just completed your first gratitude list. Review it. How does it make you feel?
Let the individuals on your list know what an impact they have had on your recovery, and thank each of them personally!
Saturday, October 1, 2016
LESSON 21 - RELAPSE
Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life, and to gain the power to follow His will.
Step 11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.
"Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly." Colossians 3:16
1. What are some of the ways (tools) that you have developed in your recovery to prevent relapse?
Talking to my sponsor. Accountability partners, attending CR and 12-Step Group, serving at CR and church, and staying focused on gratitude. Talking to God throughout the day, and keeping a check on reality. Seeking wise counsel from Godly women.
2. Do a H-E-A-R-T check right now. Are you:
Hurting - not particularly
Exhausted - absolutely
Angry - nope
ANGER = Another Nice Growing Experience, Right?
Resentful - yeah, a little
Tense - eh ... a little
3. Specifically, what do you do when you are:
Hurting - I'm pretty introspective, so I think a lot. But I do tend to withdraw a little bit while I figure things out. I pray, but not enough - I know that! I like to talk things out with my BFF or my therapist or my sponsor, make sure I'm seeing things clearly and get a "reality check." And I eventually talk to the person who hurt me, tell them how I'm feeling, and do my best to work towards resolve.
Exhausted - I lose my ability to be rational and chilled out - the little bit of patience I did have disappears. I get irritated by the smallest of things, and everything seems amplified. I feel overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities and obligations, and sometimes I start to get down on myself.
Angry - I cry. I cry when I feel helpless or frustrated beyond my ability to change something. I'm not violent, and I rarely ever yell. I'm a talker. But when I'm pushed too far, and I cry about something, you better take notice!
Resentful - Hmmm. Since I'm dealing with some of that now, I need to think about this. Resentment causes me to make snide comments about the other person in my head. I get impatient, I roll my eyes, I become even MORE sarcastic than I normally am! I stop caring so much about what they think or how they feel. I focus more on ME and the injustice (or whatever) done to ME. Not a very Christian position, I know. But the truth. And this is why I'm in recovery :)
Tense - Tension doesn't affect me as much as exhaustion, but falls somewhere between exhaustion and hurt in the way I react to it. I think a lot. I analyze. I show a little irritation and frustration, but not a lot. Tension is life. Tension is work and home and pups and husbands and calendars that are too full. I cope pretty well with tension, I'm used to it. I get a massage and drink a glass of wine, and life gets better :)
4. Rate your listening skills from 1 to 10, 10 being best. Oh ... definitely a 2, 3 on a good day! I am a horrible listener. Horrible. When somebody starts talking to me, I begin formulating a solution by the end of the first sentence! The only good news about that is that I've really recognized that about myself in the last year, and I'm working really hard to improve my score :)
- What are some ways that you think you could improve your listening skills with others?
Be intentional about listening. Remind myself that I'm going to sit and listen, I don't have to provide input or solution, and I don't need to prepare my response WHILE they're speaking. Don't interrupt. PRACTICE THE PAUSE. And remember that the squirrel outside the window isn't life changing. And the special bulletin on the television will be there when I'm finished. And the text message that just came in probably isn't life or death. It's a very conscious thing, trying to learn this listening skill. It has to be deliberate, and I have to remind myself more than once, depending on how long the conversation lasts!
- What are some ways that you could improve your listening skills with God?
PRACTICE. Practice waiting, being still, and allowing. Practice trusting that what I hear is from God, and not my own subconscious. But also read His Word more. He tells us everything we need to know in there!
5. Describe what a "quiet time" means to you and why it is important.
Oh, how I wish I had more personal experience! Quiet time is tuning out the world - the Hurt, the Exhaustion, the Anger, the Resentment, and the Tension. It's focusing solely on embracing gratitude for all that God provides and for all the beauty he has given me. It's about leaning into Him, learning more about Him through His Word and prayer, and deepening my relationship with Christ.
6. How could you improve your prayer time? Be specific.
I could make it a priority and be consistent. I'm trying to do that more, and I'm actually creating a prayer/WAR room in my house specifically for that purpose! Working on selecting paint colors and building a design in my head.
I could make it a priority and be consistent. I'm trying to do that more, and I'm actually creating a prayer/WAR room in my house specifically for that purpose! Working on selecting paint colors and building a design in my head.
- When do you pray? Most often on the way to work and at night before I go to sleep.
- Where do you pray? In the car, in bed, and wherever I am when there's something else to pray about.
7. After you pray, do you slow down long enough to hear God's answer? What does the word "meditation" in this step mean to you?
Slow down? What is that ... is that English? Does not compute. LOL. So ... no.
Meditation is the slowing down, focusing, pausing, allowing.
Slow down? What is that ... is that English? Does not compute. LOL. So ... no.
Meditation is the slowing down, focusing, pausing, allowing.
8. What are some of the other things that you do in your recovery to help you on the journey and prevent relapse?
Talk to my friends or my sponsor. Call my counselor when I need to get more in depth. Journal. Read. Check in with myself and stay aware of my own emotional "temperature" so that I can correct as needed. Make CONSCIOUS decisions, considering the effect that decision has on my overall recovery goals.
Talk to my friends or my sponsor. Call my counselor when I need to get more in depth. Journal. Read. Check in with myself and stay aware of my own emotional "temperature" so that I can correct as needed. Make CONSCIOUS decisions, considering the effect that decision has on my overall recovery goals.
9. I think we all agree that recovery is a joy, but it also requires hard work. What do you do to celebrate your recovery - even the small victories?
I find myself humbled as I recognize the changes God is making in my life, and I am very intentional about thanking Him.
I find myself humbled as I recognize the changes God is making in my life, and I am very intentional about thanking Him.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
LESSON 20 - DAILY INVENTORY
1. What are some of the advantages of each of the three types of inventories in your recovery? how can they help you to "be careful that you don't fall"?
- Ongoing: become more self aware, forgive myself for my actions
- Daily: make quick amends, before resentment builds and relationships are harmed.
- Periodic (monthly, quarterly, or annually): reflecting, identify patterns
2. What do the following verses mean to you and how can they help you in this step?
- "From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive." Proverbs 16:23
Think before I speak. Practice the pause. Respond, don't react.
- "Don't use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing." Ephesians 4:29
Use a filter. Don't feel the need to control or correct people, show grace to others, except when God wants me to try to help steer another believer to the right way.
- "The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive." Proverbs 16:21
- "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up!" Proverbs 12:25
- "If I had a gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them, and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn't love others, I would only be making noise." 1 Corinthians 13:1
Without love, all else is moot. Love is the most important of all emotions. Love everyone, hate the sin but not the sinner.
- "Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak." Mark 14:38
3. What is your daily action plan for Step 10?
Reflect. Keep it balanced - good and bad. Check in monthly with sponsor. Ask God to reveal the good and the bad, so I can make amends where I need to.
4. What are the recurring events or issues that you are constantly needing to make amends for?
- With your family?
Being late. Not following through when I say I'm going to do something. Passing judgment. Unsolicited advice and trying to fix them.
- With your friends?
Gossip. Passing judgment. Being selfish. Unsolicited advice and trying to fix them.
- With those you work with?
Passing judgment. Complaining.
- With those in your church or recovery program?
Not showing up.
- Ongoing: become more self aware, forgive myself for my actions
- Daily: make quick amends, before resentment builds and relationships are harmed.
- Periodic (monthly, quarterly, or annually): reflecting, identify patterns
2. What do the following verses mean to you and how can they help you in this step?
- "From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive." Proverbs 16:23
Think before I speak. Practice the pause. Respond, don't react.
- "Don't use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing." Ephesians 4:29
Use a filter. Don't feel the need to control or correct people, show grace to others, except when God wants me to try to help steer another believer to the right way.
- "The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive." Proverbs 16:21
- "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up!" Proverbs 12:25
- "If I had a gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them, and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn't love others, I would only be making noise." 1 Corinthians 13:1
Without love, all else is moot. Love is the most important of all emotions. Love everyone, hate the sin but not the sinner.
- "Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak." Mark 14:38
3. What is your daily action plan for Step 10?
Reflect. Keep it balanced - good and bad. Check in monthly with sponsor. Ask God to reveal the good and the bad, so I can make amends where I need to.
4. What are the recurring events or issues that you are constantly needing to make amends for?
- With your family?
Being late. Not following through when I say I'm going to do something. Passing judgment. Unsolicited advice and trying to fix them.
- With your friends?
Gossip. Passing judgment. Being selfish. Unsolicited advice and trying to fix them.
- With those you work with?
Passing judgment. Complaining.
- With those in your church or recovery program?
Not showing up.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
LESSON 19 - CROSSROADS
Principle 7: Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.
Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" (1 Corinthians 10:12)
1. Before you start working on Step 10, take a moment to reflect and list some of the changes in your life that have come from working the steps and principles with Jesus as your Higher Power.
- How has your behavior changed?
- What specific relationships have been restored or improved?
- How has your relationship with Jesus grown since you began your journey of recovery?
- List the new relationships that you have made along your journey.
2. In your own words, what does Step 10 mean to you?
- The what: "We continued to take a personal inventory ..."
- The why: "... and when we were wrong ..."
- The then what: "... promptly admitted it."
3. Keep a daily journal over the next 7 days. Record the good along with the bad. Write down victories and areas of needed growth. Look for patterns. Share them with your sponsor or accountability partner at the end of the week.
4. What did you learn by keeping your journal?
5. What areas did you identify as strengths?
6. What areas do you need to work on?
Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" (1 Corinthians 10:12)
1. Before you start working on Step 10, take a moment to reflect and list some of the changes in your life that have come from working the steps and principles with Jesus as your Higher Power.
- How has your behavior changed?
- What specific relationships have been restored or improved?
- How has your relationship with Jesus grown since you began your journey of recovery?
- List the new relationships that you have made along your journey.
2. In your own words, what does Step 10 mean to you?
- The what: "We continued to take a personal inventory ..."
- The why: "... and when we were wrong ..."
- The then what: "... promptly admitted it."
3. Keep a daily journal over the next 7 days. Record the good along with the bad. Write down victories and areas of needed growth. Look for patterns. Share them with your sponsor or accountability partner at the end of the week.
4. What did you learn by keeping your journal?
5. What areas did you identify as strengths?
6. What areas do you need to work on?
Thursday, September 8, 2016
LESSON 18 - GRACE
Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
1. How has Jesus Christ used your weaknesses and turned them into strengths?
2. How can you receive God's gift of grace? (Romans 5:2)
By accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and accepting his death, burial, and resurrection as God's way to wash away all of my sins. God's grace makes me strong when I am weak. His grace is enough :) His grace enables me to do what I cannot do, in and of my own strength.
3. How can you model God's gift of grace in making your amends?
Make amends whenever I can, without expecting anything in return. God extended forgiveness and grace to me, with no consideration whatsoever for any good (or bad) that I had done. I can extend that same grace to other people, just making amends because I NEED to make amends, in order to free ME from holding on to the bad.
4. In what ways have you experienced God's grace in your recovery?
In my willingness to forgive myself, to let go of guilt and shame I've carried for yeas, and to show myself grace and mercy, knowing that I'm not expected to be perfect and my past mistakes have been erased by God.
5. God loved and accepted us while we were still sinners (Ephesians 2:5). How can you model that acceptance to those whom you need to offer forgiveness or make amends?
By sacrificing my own pride and selfishness. By extending grace and acceptance without offering a forgiveness that is conditional on behavior or performance or perfection. And by continuing to show love toward people, even when I don't think they deserve it, or they choose not to accept my forgiveness.
6.
7. Why is it important that you focus only on your part in making amends or offering forgiveness?
Because by taking responsibility for my part in the situation, it better enables me to focus on showing grace and forgiveness to the other person. If I were to play the victim and claim no responsibility at all, it would be really easy to point the finger and harbor resentment towards the other person. Each thing that happens in a relationship takes TWO people, and in these cases I was the other person.
8. List some things God has shown you through working Principle 6.
Talking is freeing, and addressing ongoing problems takes their power away. I've learned how to more often speak in love, even when the conversation is difficult, rather than showing judgment or persecution.
Step 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
“Therefore, if you are offering your gifts at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."
(Matthew 5:23-24)
“Happy are the merciful.”
(Matthew 5:7)
1. How has Jesus Christ used your weaknesses and turned them into strengths?
2. How can you receive God's gift of grace? (Romans 5:2)
By accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and accepting his death, burial, and resurrection as God's way to wash away all of my sins. God's grace makes me strong when I am weak. His grace is enough :) His grace enables me to do what I cannot do, in and of my own strength.
3. How can you model God's gift of grace in making your amends?
Make amends whenever I can, without expecting anything in return. God extended forgiveness and grace to me, with no consideration whatsoever for any good (or bad) that I had done. I can extend that same grace to other people, just making amends because I NEED to make amends, in order to free ME from holding on to the bad.
4. In what ways have you experienced God's grace in your recovery?
In my willingness to forgive myself, to let go of guilt and shame I've carried for yeas, and to show myself grace and mercy, knowing that I'm not expected to be perfect and my past mistakes have been erased by God.
5. God loved and accepted us while we were still sinners (Ephesians 2:5). How can you model that acceptance to those whom you need to offer forgiveness or make amends?
By sacrificing my own pride and selfishness. By extending grace and acceptance without offering a forgiveness that is conditional on behavior or performance or perfection. And by continuing to show love toward people, even when I don't think they deserve it, or they choose not to accept my forgiveness.
6.
7. Why is it important that you focus only on your part in making amends or offering forgiveness?
Because by taking responsibility for my part in the situation, it better enables me to focus on showing grace and forgiveness to the other person. If I were to play the victim and claim no responsibility at all, it would be really easy to point the finger and harbor resentment towards the other person. Each thing that happens in a relationship takes TWO people, and in these cases I was the other person.
8. List some things God has shown you through working Principle 6.
Talking is freeing, and addressing ongoing problems takes their power away. I've learned how to more often speak in love, even when the conversation is difficult, rather than showing judgment or persecution.
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